New Years Eve

Over the past year the kids turned 4 started public school in Pre-k. They have had all manner of adventures from going to the beach to traveling all over north Texas. Iris got her first Pixie hair cut and the boys got mohawks. We have accumulated more toy cars than has got to be necessary and my daughter is just getting more and more into princesses. My daughter must have more dolls than some third world countries. The children have learned the value of allowance and now are always asking for chores to do and we give them chores to do. They are dressing themselves and getting their own drinks. They have homework and enjoy doing it. Iris loves her art and the boys love to fight. During the summer we would all go to the movies together and have lunch. We have been to parks and learned to play basketball. The children have also made friends in school and confronted a bully. All in all it's been a wonderful year and I can't wait to see what 2014 brings.

Now that the holidays are over.

We seem to have quite the influx of toys and other sundry kids stuff it would seem it's time for the purge. We have so many toys it's silly. My boys have a ten gallon tub filled with matchbox cars. My girl has more dresses and jewelry than a princess at this point. The kids have all manner of playsets and dolls along side of games and car tracks. A huge tub of dinosaurs and video games and enough new clothes to merit three loads of laundry. I think that I may be poor but my children are doing pretty well. Now for the parents, the  main thing that we got for Christmas is sticker shock. I am dreading the final bill since I am loath to count that high when it comes to money. But when the kids loose their minds over the Santa experience, that is something that has no price.

This year the kids are almost Five so the whole Christmas thing is really coming into full comprehension in their candy riddled minds and this is the bee's knees. This year we also introduced the fact that they give gifts to each other and to us as parents. This is the year that the kids were able to do the Christmas pickle game. You know where you hide a pickle ornament in the boughs of the tree and the first one who finds it get a special present. The present this year was a yodeling pickle, So that is fun and very loud. Thankfully the children are well behaved and had a wonderful time and I can assure you that they are already asking when Santa will  come by again.

Christmas Eve with the triplets.

On this morning we have just gotten back from eating breakfast out. And My wife making sweet potato casserole for the dinner coming up. And the kids wander the house talking in delighted tone as they prepare for their Christmas haul. I sit and enjoy my coffee. So far it's been a great Christmas and soon the chaos of the true holiday will start and we create strata of wrapping paper and lose the children in layers of discarded paper and bows. So fun, and while speaking of todays lunch engagement.

My Father in law bought FIVE pounds of shrimp to feed the family for a light and easy lunch before the presents. My Mother in law has also decided to cook a double digit turkey for a light and easy lunch. Now since the turkey will be taking up the center piece of the table I know that my Father in law will be needing to move that shrimp like a used car sales man.
"You know what goes good with pie, SHRIMP!"
" You want a little after dinner shrimp?"
"You want some shrimp in your eggnog?"
"Hey everybody gets shrimp for Christmas."
"Why is my stocking wet?"

And now we enjoy the Shrimp who stole Christmas, and to all a good night.

Christmas Vacation

I am not sure how most parents do it. I don't understand how the children get two weeks off of school and the parents are lucky to get the day before and after Christmas off. What do you do with the children? What do you do with the young children? Thankfully being a SAHD there is someone home with the kids. I can't even imagine what we would be doing as parents if both of us worked during their winter break.

Talking without speaking.

When the children were babies I wanted nothing more than for them to be able to speak in order to tell me their wants and needs. Now oh sweet jebus now I want nothing more than to be able to complete a single task without being asked the same question ad nauseam. My children have gotten into the habit of repeating them selves until you answer. It is the most annoying thing because it's not like they give you a chance to respond, and it's even worse when it's not even a question. I have read the illusions of the perfect parent with the clean house and that loves the dulcet tones of their heavenly children. I on the other hand was there when my three children were ushered into this world and it was bloody, messy, loud, and stressful and to believe that it will ever be other wise is fallacy though I wouldn't change it for the world.

The Elf on the Shelf, pratice for a surveillance state?

My wife and I have talked about getting into the whole Elf on the Shelf trend and having it watch the children. Hide it around the house and help keep track of the children's seasonal comings and goings. Is it just me but does this not seem a little weird. I mean here we are teaching our children to always be aware that they are being watched at all times doing all things. It seems to me that this practice is designed to make our children comfortable living in a surveillance state. What is the next step? The Santa Cam? The Santa GPS ankle monitor? Your own private NSA agent that reports back to Santa?

I know that this will not be popular opinion amongst the parent set, but I feel it's odd that we would want to teach our kids that they are always under surveillance. Is this even our idea as parents? I know that the tradition of Santa is that he knows what you've been doing and all that. Santa is a magical being and his motives can not be questioned as he is the giver of gifts. We should also be glad that Santa is a job provider, I just don't believe that he should employ his own surveillance teams of sycophantic tattle tale elves.

In my house Santa knows because Mommy and Daddy knows and we have a direct line to Santa. We take the kids to see him. We know where to send the wish list. And we allow him in the house to deliver the presents and that being the case, I accept responsibility for Santa and don't need a go between.

Doctors are not always worth it.

So the children all have this persistent cough that has lasted for over a week. We have tried everything under the sun to manage and improve their health. All kinds of natural cough suppression and pharmaceutical relief, even humidifiers and hot drinks, Alas nothing has really helped except keeping it from being worse. My poor daughter is in pain from the coughing. So we decided to take the kids to the doctor before school to see what could be done.

I load the kids up after setting the appointment and away we go. It's always fun to get there a little early to fill out the paper work and the what not. What is decidedly not fun is getting there on time and getting checked in only to see people after you come in get checked in and get called back to the doctor before you and after your scheduled time.

The doctor calls us back and does every single test I do at home before I even left. He checks their O2 levels, listens to their breathing hears them cough and evaluates their energy levels. All of which I could have told him had he bothered to ask. At the end this diagnostician was able to discern that the children had a cough and that there was nothing that he could do for it. That will be $75 please. So I spent the better part of two hours ferreting the children back and forth to the doctor and spending much needed Christmas money for a ten minute cursory glance to tell me "eh, shit happens and welcome to winter."

Last night a first.

My daughter wet the bed and came to sleep with us adults last night. She's a kicker and a noisy sleeper. Neither my wife nor I slept very well last night. My daughter on the other hand slept very well.

When I got up this morning to go into the kitchen to do the breakfast for the family, Cooper runs up to me and says "I can't find Iris and there were some scary noises."

Iris who was a few steps behind me said "I'm not gone, I slept with the adults!"

Cooper was crestfallen that he did not do that as well. I feel that the time of bed invasions have begun.

Where do you hide the children's gifts?

As the kids get older I am now faced with a new Christmas dilemma. Where to put the gifts. For the past years it's been easy enough to hide them in a closet or attic as the case may be. Now that they are older, they are getting sharper of eye and we must practice more and more subterfuge to stash the goodies. I know that a lot of you may enlist the aid of neighbors or family members to secret away the magic and I am sure that will soon be a necessary step as the children age. But I ask you dear reader what is the best way to hide said gifts with out actually renting a storage unit for the month of December?

icepocalypse 2013

Day four of the icepocalypse. We have been trapped inside for four days and the madness has started to take root in the children. They have started talking in nonesenseical noise. The cabin fever has started to erode the stalwart mind of the adults. We have seen to much white and the inside of this home. The walls are starting to close in and the children are getting louder and louder. All work and no outside makes Dad a crazy man. At the very least we have not lost power during the winter isolation. I don't know what would have happened had we lost power.

When school is cancelled.

Here in Texas we don't normally have to close school due to weather but when we do the northerners think that we are crazy. We get a inch of ice everywhere the whole metroplex shuts down. When this is the case I then become trapped at home with the kids. What to do with the time? It's not like ice is any fun to play on or throw around. So now the kids will go stir crazy and I can't just send them to the back yard. looks like movie day for us or just maybe a Firefly marathon with a nice fire to combat the cold.

The Santa photo problem.

Every year we have tried to go to a mall or some other such place and get the kids photographed with Santa. We have managed to pull it off once in a public setting when they were on their first Christmas and not in any public setting since. The lines are always crazy and I may be a curmudgeon but I think waiting in line for three hours is flat out stupid. Your telling me that I need to wait in line with triplets and keep them entertained for hours at a time while standing and then pay some fat man for the privilege to put my children in this strangers lap?
  It has never worked out for me and the family. I try to take other chances to get that photo done and I am almost decided to go ahead and buy a Santa costume and have a nice photo shoot for friends and family because this public Santa is for the birds.

Sand.

I can't stand sand! If it wasn't for sand, the beach would be really nice. If it wasn't for sand playgrounds would be a lot more relaxing for me as a parent. I have to say that kids tend to be sticky about the hands and face in particular. Sand is the worst. it gets into everything. And if that wasn't bad enough it seems to self propagate from within their clothing. Now the inside of the children's playroom and the back of my van look like the beginnings of a desert just from the sand in their shoes. The bottom of the bath tub looks like a riverbed and when the kids would shake their heads the sand would cascade spreading it's filth into my home. For the now unforeseen future we will be eating sand and slipping on it and finding it everywhere. I don't know about anybody else but for me sand have never ever been worth the endless cleanup for a hour worth of play. If people can't understand my point you either don't have children or have never let them in sand. And if you still think that I am unreasonable then I challenge you to let my children into your home after one hour in a sand box and you can tell me how that works out for you.