Not sure what to make of yesterday.

I went to pick up my kids yesterday from school and was asked by the teacher if I could hang around to talk about an incident between Bobby and another child that we will call J. After the other children were collected by their parents the teacher came out to talk to me.

A quick background, there is a new student that came in to the class after Christmas. And he and Bobby have been having communication issues since day one. I have heard Bobby complain about him quite alot. I believe the problem is that both children speak each other's language equally as well. That and Bobby tends to like being and enforcer of the rules. So when you have a constant conflict plus communication barrier managed by a teacher in a overloaded classroom, well trouble is going to happen.

So yesterday I learned that they do the Pledge of Allegiance in class. I did not know and it does not bother me that this do this but on the same hand I am not overly concerned that they should recite it either. Essentially I love our country but not a big fan of governmental indoctrination programs so I feel conflicted.

So yesterday during the Pledge of Allegiance J refused to get up to recite the pledge and Bobby decided to be the enforcer by kicking J in the shoe many times until the teacher saw it and for the second time ever so far one of my kids got in troubled. When I asked Bobby he said and I quote "He needed to stand up and speak words at the flag!" I was so torn between pride concern and laughter I didn't really know what the teacher wanted from me at that point. If you ever watched the TV show Family Ties I gotta tell you I'm worried I have a Alex Keaton on my hands.

Spongebob and the descent into Madness.

I don't like SpongeBob like I used to. Before I was married and obviously before children I used to watch SpongeBob on my lunch brake from work. I thought it was a funny show with just enough adult themes to keep me interested for thirty minutes while allowing me to completely shut my brain off. Now that my kids watch it and it plays ad nauseam on all the kids channels.  This little yellow brain fart has been on the air for 15 years. SpongeBob has become a cultural icon of this century and I gotta tell you I am not sure what that is going to tell about our culture in the future. The problem I have with it now is that before family I could turn SpongeBob off when ever I wanted and now with children they watch it all the time. They demand that insidious yellow madness all the time to the point I cringe when I hear his voice. His laugh is the Muzak of hell.

Triplets and the birthday problems

So not sure how you do birthdays with your kiddos but I can tell you that we have quite the pickle trying to decide on everything. The one thing that the wife and I agree on with out fail is that the party does not take place in our home.

Thankfully the children are in a single class for now and this limits the number of additional children that could be invited as well as the number of "goodies" I am required to bring to school so that the children can celebrate with their school friends. Could you imagine taking sixty some odd cupcakes to three different classes?

Then there is the issue of the individual presents for the children. Their birthday is in February which limits the amount of outdoor venues that we could use. And that creates the problem of renting space or paying for a birthday party at one of the many places that provide such a service.

We are not even going to get into cost.

Babysitters

We sometimes have baby sitters in the form of my In-laws once in a while and I assure you that we take advantage of the services when ever presented. It's nice to be able to sleep in and have a nice hot breakfast with out sharing and making sure that the kids are eating. My wife and I will normally go out to eat for breakfast and she likes to do some retail therapy.

The problem is not talking about the kids when we don't have the kids. Or shopping for the kids or anything really without it somehow still revolving around the children. It seems to be the source for a lot of parenting jokes. Before you have children you just don't get those jokes like you do when you become and then understand the cliché.

The Triplets are about to turn Five and the majority of my day after shopping and laundry and cleaning from the weekend if to schedule the birthday party for the kids. Last year it was at Chuckie Cheese which the kids loved Mom and Dad not so much, because it is a madhouse in those places. This year we plan on a place called JumpAround basically a wearhouse filled with inflatables for the kids. Lets see how that works out.

Gifted and talented

My children are hopping through the hoops of gifted and talented testing for their school district. I put them in the first round of testing not knowing that there is a series of tests. I was called and told "congrats, your three have made it to the next round of testing."

I was not prepared for all this since I was not able to get confirmation of the type of testing so that I could help prepare the kids. This irks me to no end. It's not that I want to do practice tests or anything I would like to create natural scenarios that would help the kids become more familiar with what is going to be expected of them.

After much digging and searching I was lost until an old friend contacted me who just also happens to have a educational focus in gifted and talented education. And she was able to help me know what questions I should b asking in order to get the information that I required. I learned the testing is most likely creative behavior inventory testing. Which tests among other things non-lateral problem solving, which once I learned that, I understood why when I asked if there was anything I could do to help prepare the kids the answer was always no.

I guess my problem is that I dislike being dismissed as a member of the rank and file when I have legitimate questions and keep getting brick walled. Thankfully I have a wonderful network of friends with many interests and careers.

Triplets and the coffee

So everyday I give the kids a smoothie with their breakfast and normally this is not a problem until yesterday. I had introduced a new flavor which was chocolate. I got the bottle out of the fridge and poured into their glasses and served breakfast as normal. When the kids were finishing their food Cooper said that his drink tasted like coffee. I thought how does he know what coffee tastes like but beside that point I thought he was messing with me. Then I dug the bottle out of the trash and lo and behold it was a mocha cappuccino smoothie.

This is when panic set in as I looked at the drinks of the children and saw that Iris and Cooper had drank maybe half of theirs, but Bobby was sipping the last dregs out of his cup with a straw with a fevered look in his eyes. My wife saw this and my look of fear as she headed out the door for work laughing with tears in her eyes telling me to have a "good day."

I won't bore you with the spastic antics of Bobby except to say that his volume went to 11 that day and was a proverbial flash around the house leaving a wake of destruction to mark his passage. I will instead take this moment to point out that my children don't get caffeine EVER and when they get any sugar it's in small amounts that come in fruits or the very limited amounts of candy they get on the holidays.

Now getting through the morning was difficult enough because the other two kids had gotten some caffeine as well but not to the extent of Bobby and I had figured that most of problem will burn it's self out by the time I took them to school. No such luck and I felt bad for dropping the kids off, and fully expected to have to have a talk with the teacher about what is and is not ok about dropping off three caffeinated for school.

When I picked up the kids three hours later they came busting out of the school like devils on fire. They encircled me and all started talking at 90 miles per minute. For the briefest moment I was worried that the caffeine had laid dormant until I came to pick them up. What I was able to figure out betwixt the chatterbox children was that somebody in the class had a birthday party and everyone got big frosted cupcakes. And that led into the afternoon of daddy locking himself in the bathroom and trying to weather the storm till mommy got home. Moral of the story caffeine plus sugar is a lethal combination for everyone but the child that consumed it.

No rest for the wicked.

I'm not sure when most parents put their four year olds to sleep but in this house it's 7pm sharp. Now that is not for the kids sake as much as it's mine. The kids go to school for three hours each day which gives me just enough time to run a errand or two get home have lunch maybe take a shower if the errands didn't take to long then I go pick up the children. I have the kids all morning till 12 then three hours when in reality it's more like two hours and thirty minutes since I gotta get to school early enough to make sure that I have a place to park so I can get my kids. Take a shower when the kids are home you say? No that normally results in irreparable home or child. When I'm not cooking or cleaning or doing laundry I am making the kids do homework or clean their rooms. I Don't have what you could call a lot of down time during the day. So when the wife gets home and we have dinner the kids run wild for about an hour and play then off to bed where Maureen reads to them every night. And then I maybe watch an hour of TV and then off to bed. Last night I was in bed by 8:30 and it was wonderful.

The I don't knows.

I have a passionate hatred for the phrase "I don't know."
I have heard it so much from the trips it makes me livid to hear it anywhere from anyone. I swear on all that is precious that if an adult said that to me in reference to any action that they  did that affected me and I asked them why and they responded with "I don't know" I may punch them out.

It is the most difficult of things having children and learning to communicate with them. When they are babies you think that as soon as they can talk things will get easier. Well you're wrong. The kids do have the ability to tell you what is bothering them, and they will tell you everywhere all the time. While you're taking a shower, while you're on the phone, while you're sick, while you're doing anything that requires your focus they will be there to tell you "EVERTHING."

So you would think that with this new found gift of gab that the children would be excited to detail every little thing and in this case you would be right until it comes to culpability. Then the horrid I don't knows start in earnest. Who flushed their car down the toilet? I don't know. Who spilled orange juice from the fridge to the kitchen table? I don't know. Who drew on the wall with markers? I don't know. Etc  etc etc.

If you're expecting and soon to have children or have young children that lack the ability to speak you will hear "cherish this time they grow so fast." Well I'm going to tell you honestly that between the time of when they start sleeping through the night to when they start walking in the sweet spot of parenting. They are so cute and stationary. By that time you have pretty much figured out the difference in cries. The food choices are still simple and potty is pretty much routine at this point. So enjoy that time because before it you will not get any sleep and after it is when they start making the real demands.

The fridge

Our fridge like many of yours is an art gallery to our children's artistic endeavors. Unlike many of you so is our walls and out tables and we have folders to keep art and an entire bookcase just to hold all of their day school art. We have copious amounts of kid art. You honestly would not believe the amount that these kids produce just in the school room alone. I'm going to need a storage unit to store all this art by the end kindergarten.

Never ask a kid about your age

We were talking about ages today and how old the kids are. The kids like the idea that they are about to be five, and they keep wondering how old they have to be to drive. They think that the whole world opens up when they turn eight. My wife made the mistake of asking the kids how they thought she was and with out blinking and eye all three kids said a thousand. It's like they had planned on this is was said so quickly and in concert with each other. Then my wife said, "What, there is no way I'm a thousand, am I older than twenty?"
To which the children said "no."
What this should point out is that four year olds have no real concept of time.

Triplets and video games.

I know people who find the idea of video games for children abhorrent, well I think that is a little extreme. I think video games have a place in our lives as entertainment and education. I think that most kids play video games and if they don't, they want to. I think that for my children to not only have the most opportunities education wise they should also have the same chances socially. I have had difficulty in my life from my family and in school because I just couldn't care less about football and in today's society video games hold a similar place in social interaction. If gives the kids something to talk about, bond over, and relate to. When in Rome, I have heard both sides of the argument to be sure but I will say this, To deny someone something tends to create a stronger desire than may have existed before. Behold human nature.

Bath time takes a long time.

In some ways it was much easier to bath the children when they were younger. When they were smaller and had a lot less desire to shoot me in the face with water guns, we could get all three into one tub and, we parents could knock in out in a little less than an hour. Now though I bathe them solo in the morning before school. I bathe them one at a time, you just can't fit all three into a single tub anymore much less would you want to. They are starting to grasp the idea that I would rather them do all the cleaning themselves and I just play lifeguard, but still tend to play the helpless card and time is a luxury in this house. So normally I step in and make sure that they are clean from head to toe, that their hair is washed and rinsed. After the bath they get lotion and then we dry their hair and then dressed while in the bathroom with two heaters running so as to keep them warm.

Iris is the easiest of the three, she loves just to float in the water being a water baby. She likes to have clean hair and likes getting her hair dried and done. She likes the lotion after the bath, The only complaint is the warmth of the bathroom which we solve by using two heaters.

Bobby tends to just want to be the center of a whirlpool or throwing wet things about the bathroom or if the mood fits he will grab one of the many water guns and go all wild west on me. He hates getting his hair wet and will not put his face underwater. The lotion part is not easy to do on a squirming four year old.

Cooper loves a bath, likes to dunk his head, and is a lot calmer in the water than the others. Cooper likes water like a fish does. He likes just to be in it and pretend to swim and float and does a good bit of the cleaning labor himself. The lotion on the other hand in a bit of a problem since he is so ticklish.

Don't get me wrong I love the kids and all the time is precious but  familiarity breeds contempt and I am very familiar with bathtime. Don't get me started on laundry.

Lies and how they start.

The truth is my kids don't lie as much as they omit or feign ignorance of a given situation.
Not real sure when the lying starts but I do know the telling signs. I hope to keep my children honest with the family, meaning us as parents and each other as siblings. I know this is not a reasonable expectation of most adults, much less children, but I would like to attempt it.

Lies are such a complex thing. You have lies of omission, lies of misdirection, lies of false blame, lies of personal advancement, white lies, and exaggerations. It's easy to understand how a child could get confused when they see their parent lie to people about the little stuff or leaving out important details but yet expect total honesty from them within all dealings personally.

I have attempted to make a world for my children in this protected bubble of "childhood" but the reality is they live in a world governed and ruled by adults who in many cases care not about the deluding  of children. And we, as the type of parents we are, feed lies to our children about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny for example.

I wish to raise my children to understand lies and learn to recognize lies and know that anyone at anytime may be lying regardless of appearance or uniform. What I want to teach them is the way to understand the reason for lying and as useful of a tool it is to provide the grease for social exchange to also see the irreparable damage to trust and more that they are capable of.

Singing the songs of madness.

The kids have started a new game that they do. They sing in some nonsense words at each other to the point of ignoring all other things around them. It must be the funniest thing in the world cause they use it to crack each other up to no end. I think the point of origin was Bobby since he thrives on laughter. Basically they sing "meeean meee meeannee ......" over and over and over until a parent steps in and stops it. They do during meal times, in the car, during the baths, even the grocery store. And as loathe as I am to stop my children from laughing I seem to have a thirty minute limit before I am ready to loose my mind. I don't understand why it's so funny other than my children delight in tormenting me and their mother.

Homework always in the morning.

The kids go to school for a half day from 12 to 3 and I guess to train the kids and the parents they get homework assignments. For now at any rate we always do the home work in the morning since they have such a late start in the days. I know that this is going to change next year when the kids are rocking the full day. I would like if the kids liked to do their homework and as for now they don't mind doing it as long as I stay with them and watch them do it.

cooking

The kids love to watch me cook. If they hear me in the kitchen they come running and watch what I'm doing. I let them stir and beat eggs and help out where they can. It's nice at this age since they constantly want to show how capable they are and are eager to do things around the house. Now this can sometimes be a problem since they tend to get underfoot and around hot items like stove tops or pans out of the oven. I don't wish to dissuade them because I would like to ingrain these habits early on. As it stands I have three little helpers that want to clean up and set the table and do all manner of house related skills, and I need to cherish this time. The only thing that the kids don't want to do is clean their room our play room. I mean we do it everyday before Mom gets home and yet they still resist my efforts to make them more autonomous with this action. Why is it children will work and show what good little helpers they are but yet so loath to clean their own areas. It is the mystery of the ages.

School is back in session.

After two glorious weeks the children are headed back to school. I am not going to lie and say I am not relieved. It has been utter chaos since the onslaught of Christmas. The children have doubled the amount of mess and by mess I mean toys. We try to do a purge before the holidays but it never seems enough. Seriously, I don't know about you but during the gift apocalypse it was difficult to find the kids under the strata of wrapping paper, the only way we could find the children was by shaking a box of candy and they would emerge from their various piles like cats running to a can opener. The number of boxes and ribbon could have wrapped my house three times over and it's not like they only had one instance of gift getting. The kids had three different chances to get spoiled. Our house and both sets of grandparents so I can assure you that the children were well provided for.

So for the first time in two weeks the wife is at work and the kids will be in school and I will have three hours to myself. I'll most likely be doing laundry.

My daughter and her christmas doll.

My daughter got a baby doll for Christmas. She got a crib and a stroller and changes of clothes and all manner of other accoutrements required to raise a plastic baby. She loves this doll and carries it with her everywhere.

This past weekend I decided to ask her about the doll and if she liked it. She assured me that she did and when I asked for the doll's name my daughter looks at me and says "Peach."

I said "Peach?"
And looks at me like I'm deaf and says real slowly "PEACH!"